saltine-kakyoin

regrettably, there are many jojo characters who live rent free in my head :( here they are, listed by part!

(yes i have only seen up to part 5...my stupid headache-prone brain cannot read manga anymore </3 i will rejoice when the stocean anime comes out + i can add foof to this)

phantom blood: the core four, as well as bruford <3battle tendency: suzi q, lisa lisa, and caesarstardust crusaders: kakyoin, abdul, polnareff, jotaro, iggy, and n'douldiamond is unbreakable: the josuyasu duo, mikitaka, reimi, tonio, and shizukavento aureo: narancia, giorno, bruno, + fugo

(especially fun fact about fugo: every "which jjba character are you? :D" test i've taken that has fugo as an answer has assigned me fugo.. y'all remember that one super detailed test that ranked the characters in terms of how similar they were to you? yeah according to that i am 100% fugo ;__;)

(i should be grateful tho... my brother-in-law's top jojo personality matches are rohan, diavolo, kira, and then ???? abdul. so. i could be Much worse off, although i do really envy him for the abdul match-up lmao)

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i went pretty hard on this section on my main card, But this is a jojo sideblog so i'm gonna condense it. do not follow if you
fit basic dni criteriathink that trans people are not their gender and/or aroace people are not part of the lgbtq+ communityship jonadio, diokak, josuhan, or any other jjba ship involving minors with adults, incest, or really harmful power imbalancesconsume inappropriate art of minors or think that it's fine if people do this because the characters aren't real. even if the characters are not real, the thought behind it is + can be damaging to the kids around us! i say this as a kid who was pretty fucked up by exposure to this sort of stuff- as the adults on the internet, we should be looking out for those who are younger/more vulnerable than ourselves.turn a blind eye to + continue supporting artists who doxx people.

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chef marriage: my tag dedicated to fan-art i really enjoy! it's like chef kiss's passionate older sister! :D this tag is normally prefaced by a lot of rambly fangirling about the artist's techniques.. i cannot help myself from indulging in a good appreciative ramble ok ;__;posts that make you sob uncontrollably: need i explain...thos boys: my jotaro/kakyoin tag! it's name is based off of a very old theater dressing room in-joke, and is meant to be read like a babushka talking about her beets ^^

sda: my tag for any post relating to the sergio-divergent au! these can be update posts, tiktoks i felt fit the characters...there are no limits for this tagsuad: the stand assassin who kills sergio, does a face-heel turn, and aids in taking down dio from the shadowsyusra: suad's young daughter, who spends more time being an almost-vampire than a toddler probably should :'\zakkariya: suad's fiery cousin-turned-brother, who would do anything to protect his sister and niece! he is instrumental to the investigation into the stand arrowsloulou/ shizuka: originally this character was loulou, abdul and polnareff's adopted daughter. Then, i remembered that joseph takes shizuka home with him + that he is like. going Sillay at this point and Not Really Fit to raise a kid (i think roses would die!!) SO. instead abdul and polnareff adopt her. the tags for loulou are outdated + apply to this version of shizukajoshiki: originally, jouta reworked for the modern age; he really has taken on a life of his own since his inception though! sda-jolyne's younger brother who grows up to become a madman marine photographer

panini: an oc; caesar's super sardonic grandniece whose stand lets her turn people into sandwiches.. unfortunately that's 89% of what i've developed for her rn ;w;rigatoni: but you can call him toni! panini's older brother, who was a driving member of passione's spying/interrogating team? may or may not have been on murolo's team? anyhow the madman got murdered on a wild hunt for sicily's stone mask so :(

sriracha.txt- personal posts! there is an incredibly long story behind this, But! people i'd rather not follow me but also who i cannot block follow my main, so this blog is an outlet for thoughts i'd rather not have them see. these tend to be rather emotional, although i generally keep everything in the tags ^^sriracha tag/ask game- prompts and answers for various interactive posts!

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this is truly the big fuckalungus + Anchor of my blog...however i spent multiple hours writing about panini and am truly Exhausted :( it's a bit much to send people to read about you on your card and Then redirect them back to your tumblr blog but i am.. tired ;__; please refer to here for a lengthier explanation of the sergio-divergent AU. it is a bit outdated, but i have yet to type up a current version of the au so it'll have to do for now </3

if you're cool w the quick and easy of it, the SDA is an au where joseph has a second child, a son named sergio (thus the sergio divergence). Sergio is Josuke's father, who goes on this huge journey to become strong enough to kill Dio when he senses the vampire's presence in Japan. this ends horribly for sergio, who ends up getting murdered by a stand assassin named Suad. however, his journey sets down a handful of plotpoints that make things in SDC a bit more reasonable, ie joseph and abdul being friends for three years before the show begins. thanks to the subtle changes in the plot brought on by sergio's murder, everyone is able to survive the final fight with dio, albeit much worse for wear.

this was where the SDA originally ended, but i combined it with another AU that dealt more with what life would look like in a world where all the Crusaders survived dio so the party carries on! the second half of this au needs more work and a rewatch of VA, but! it basically follows jotaro + kakyoin's wacky uni adventures and then the expanded investigation into the stand arrows.

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i don't know about y'all BUT it like. haunted me that we didn't get a single zeppeli cameo during vento aureo. which is centered in italy. and focuses on the mafia. which caesar was kind-of-but-not-Quite a member of. :( I got to thinking about what caesar's younger siblings got up to, especially once he disappeared (either earlier when he became more infamous + ended up in rome OR when he headed off to help joseph), and then what their kids got up to, and where the remainder of the zeppeli family might be by vento aureo...

i understand Why giorno's journey is incredibly standalone, BUT i also feel that it is a Tragedy that giorno, who is a brando and a joestar and neither of those things all at once, never runs into a zeppli. vento aureo has no nods to the joestar-zeppeli bond NOR does it have any callbacks to dio and baron zeppeli's "how many lives have you sucked away to heal those wounds?" "how many breads have you eaten in your life?" moment. it is a tragedie i cannot abide by! :( (i'm not super pressed abt this i'm jus bein dramatic lol)

my brother and i did a lot of brainstorming about how + where + why giorno would run into a zeppeli, since you can't really throw one in during the events of VA. plus, i wanted a character who mirrored giorno, in the way that he's a brando/joestar but also Not. we still haven't reached a final decisive conclusion, but we have come up with this:

(warning for VA-standard content and mentions of drugs, prostitution, and murder)
alfredo, mario's second son, gets involved in the mafia after caesar's disappearance/ death, take your pick! he stays involved in it even through diavolo's usurpation, and rises to become a capo based in rome. his daughter died of drug use, so he basically raised his two grandchildren, rigatoni and panini.rigatoni (but you can call him toni!) became involved in the mafia as his grandfather became older and began to struggle. beyond serving as his grandfather's right hand, he is also one of diavolo's favored scouts, thanks to his stand, Bible of Dreams. (this implies he'd work with murolo, which i'm not 100% against? i just need to reread phf to decide whether or not to alter this) On one of his assignments, he encounters the mark's prostitute. he was already agitated with his mark, but discovering her pushes him over the edge. he kills the man and brings her home with him so that she can have a place to stay as she gets back onto her feet. the girl takes on the name stelle and, grateful for his intervention, decides to aid him. after meeting with polpo (?? rome's equivalent of polpo?), she acquires the stand, Constellation of the Heart; she and rigatoni became a frighteningly efficient duo + she begins modeling as a front for her mafia duties.alfredo's work kills him, whether because of over-exertion or assassination. rigatoni is deeply shaken up by this, and hopes that diavolo will choose him to take over alfredo's territory- diavolo does Not. infuriated by this, rigatoni goes to find the stone mask fabled to be in sicily and achieve the heightened humanity he'd need to take the boss on.toni is taken out by the execution squad :( his corpse is seated front-row at one of stelle's shows to signify that the mafia Knows what she and rigatoni were up to. stelle takes this as a sign that she's next, and decides to yeehaw on outta there. she runs to retrieve panini, who has been uninvolved in the mafia her entire life but would probably be targeted for being rigatoni's sister, and keep from getting murdered by risotto's squad.The Foggy Bit. panini and stelle are doing Something, they aren't just hiding from risotto and co. but i need to rewatch VA + reread PHF to decide What, bc i don't want them to undermine anything...in any case, they're able to survive la squadra! ;w;The Giorno Reckoning. lmao i jest. but giorno does track them, really moreso stelle, down for their involvement in the mafia. I don't really know the exacts of it, but giorno lets stelle cut off her ties to the mafia, as it took Everything from her. she joins up with the speedwagon foundation, wanting to use her stand ability for good for a change! panini stays behind to help giorno dismantle italy's drug trade.i suppose now is a good time to mention that panini acquired her stand when rigatoni was stabbed with the stand arrow. it allows her to turn people into sandwiches. she uses this to eliminate her enemies. no i will not elaborate, yes giorno witnesses her do it.at some point she confronts him about something, "how many batshit plans do you make up on the fly?" and he just. "how many breads have you eaten in your life?" knowing fully well she turns her enemies into sandwiches and eats them. panini is unsettled, dio + william are Wheezing in hell and heaven respectively.yes this entire thing was written solely for that exchange uwu. In any case, she and giorno have a funky relationship. she's slightly older than him, so him being the boss is. kind of horrifying (he's 15?!). they have a sibling-adjacent relationship, and while she really respects him she does not Revere him yk?panini is named panini bc 1. Will loves sandwiches 2. i could not stop listening to the song by lil nas x ;__;super grateful that caesar can also pass for caesar salad. i gave all of his siblings kind-of-regular kind-of-foody names, and then their kids' names get Pretty Foody. panini's generation is just "ah i guess naming your kids after foods is a trend in italy right now? gang gang"
so yeah! this idea still needs a lot of work- this is just the conceptual skeleton for now. i might change some things or Everything about this, who knows! thanks for reading this far!

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